Friday, June 24
just got back from jean's sister's apartment. i believe i'll get a studio apartment when i grow up and move out of my parents' house. it's small enough to keep clean, and quite cosy =D. and yay i didn't have the opportunity to mull over things alone and get all crabby, thanks to jean inviting me over. =D thank you deeply =D i managed to redo my entire inequalities tutorial, and have concluded that i am
bad at inequalities. last year, when i was still doing triple science and lit simultaneously, i took some test that said i use both sides of my brain equally. now, having entered the arts faculty, recent results have shown that i'm now a right-brain-er. this is discouraging. but nevertheless i aim to pass maths =D whether i do or not is another matter. the seniors can be so encouraging sometimes. apparently one of them said there's no point in studying for maths in hwachong, since you'll fail anyway.
i've come up with a [vague] study plan! applause, please! i am so organised =D -head swells and floats away- anyway:
tonight: ap/gp/summation + write 'moths' --> will not write anything substantial before completing maths. -repeats about a hundred times, hopefully to some avail-
tomorrow: chinese [tuition. it's counted!!] + more math. mi, i think, and binomial +
start studying sea --> don't let me talk to you if i'm online!! just tell me to shut up.
sunday: study the last booklet of econs + whatever econs tys i can do + freak out very badly for gp and econs and sea and math [see i am so organised, i even provide time for freaking out since i know well enough that there is no cure for my overreactive imagination]
monday: freak out, do gp paper, go for econs consultation, smile and freak out inside my head while everyone around me reveals superior knowledge and understanding of a concept i didn't know existed.. oh and study sea while i'm at it. and math. maybe partial fractions and graphs?
tues: econs. econs. econs. pray very very hard because i am very bad at econs. and some sea when i start puking econs in solid pieces. and graphs when i start wanting to drown myself.
wed: econs papers. and sea. wait. then there's no time for math. oh no. okay alternate between trigo [which i'm bad at] and sea. there, i can use both sides of my brain -nervous smile-
thurs: sea paper. and
mug maths. do i have a choice??
weekend: int history! nothing but int history! i will read nothing but cold-war related books /notes / whatever life throws at me! because if i fail int history mdm tay will tell my mother! again! damnit this goes for every single subject, damn my chromosones! i am typing like the idiotic guy who wrote a ridiculous autobiography that i made fun of at cap! i will stop this immediately! done. sometimes i drive myself crazy. i pity you, innocent reader.
mon:
int historytues: finish reading frankie, to hell with chinese
wed: burst into tears at 11:15 am, thank God that the blocks are over and [hopefully] remember to stay in school for the chinese paper.
-breathes- i'm gonna do all
that? can't rmb how hard i worked for o's now. it seems a very distant and rather fond memory, peppered with girlish laughter and lots of pigging out. the only thing i remember is studying for bio in the classroom one day.. i was studying the bit on malaria.. and wondering what the hell love is. chris - remember that day? your jaw is capable of dropping rather far. what will i remember this time? probably the treetops apartment =D
sometimes i'm not sure if i'm dumb, dense, or just foolish. an old lady came up to me just now while i was at the bus stop, and asked if i had a dollar. silly me, i reached into my bag and pulling out my wallet, handed her a one dollar coin. and she, without blinking, took it and walked away. i was left standing there wondering what the hell had just happened - had i just
given money away? to an able-bodied albeit slightly ragged-clothed person? and she didn't even ask me nicely! what is
wrong with me? maybe my brain was a little tired from all that math. heh.
i will be strong and i will study very very hard, starting 9:00. do not entertain my nonsense if i succumb to boredom. i hope i won't fail lit even though i'm not studying for it. honestly, econs took so much time! and math - alas, i am not a logical person. but i shall practice! -refrains from comparing self to sister who takes math 's'- and history.. i am speechless.
van - i hope you can come down for speech day, cos it just won't be the same for me without you there. you're one of those who really made a difference to my life [and indirectly, my studies] and i was just hoping you'd be there.. when we all finally get to wear the robes. you deserve to, too. if only your competition were to end earlier.. i think i'll try to get out of class early.. tell my teacher i have to go for speech day, but conveniently neglect to mention the time.. but if i do go down to support you, i'll definitely change out of my uniform because hwachong doesn't even have a rhym gym team. take care, girl. don't dance your spirit out of your body. i love you, more than i'll ever be able to tell you. :) thanks for everything.
it must've been love.
7:55 pm
xoxo
